I had to tell him: hey, let's get out of here, let's hop in the Rav4, hit the road, turn the music on, and just drive, drive, dive, drive the hell out of here. But I didn't. I never asked, never wanted anything like that from anybody. I just kept it to myself. Why? I keep daydreaming. I have come to enjoy this, not to live a real life, but to daydream the possibilities. And oh well I have hell of an imagination. I can be anybody, anywhere. That's why I have stopped living my real life. My life is boring at its best, but the imaginary one? That's the kind of life I enjoy. Dangerous? I know, my friends will eventually start worrying about me. Is living in fantasy wrong? What if you make a conscious decision to live in a fantasy? Would that still be problematic? I have chosen the fantasy over reality. Fantasy doesn't hurt, I can't hurt anybody in a fantasy world either. But the feelings are real, love, emotion, passion, it's all real. And the best thing is that there is no limit, no end to what I can have in the imaginary world I have built for myself. If only I could stay in my fantasy world as often as I wanted to, without the need to make excuses not to show up, not to socialize. If only I could drown into myself, and then it all would stop, while I was happy inside myself.
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