It was just a second. He came close to say something to me, and I felt his breath on my neck, and all of a sudden everything was awakened in my body. Two fucking years and all of a sudden, bang... It was a bad sign, telling me that I haven't got over it the way I thought i have. i thought i am screwed up and back to level one. even later when i heard his breathing in my ear i started crying silently in the dark. but then i could get a hold of myself, and i let the moment pass with my tears. my body and my consciousness may not have forgotten, well, who am i kidding, i personally might not have forgotten it even in consciousness, but i have gained such a high level of self control, realism, and wisdom that i could let these momentary lapses pass, without leaving any dangerous marks or motives. i am free of all destructive desires and obsessions. i am free of the past. it tries to haunt me momentarily, but then i strongly close my heart to the past and look forward to future. i am a good player. i obey the rules of the game.
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